Confession

...is good for the soul - or so they say. I admit it - I have a problem with stupid people. And by problem, I mean that I have no use for them at all. Except for an occasional laugh when they have an epic fail. Which is pretty often.

For instance - if you're going to the bank to make a deposit or withdrawal, and you're planning to use the drive-thru, and you know that other people use the drive-thru, and the whole point of a drive-thru is to make a quick transaction - then why in the world would you not fill out your deposit/withdrawal slip and sign the checks before you leave the house???? It doesn't seem to matter that the bank puts up signs telling you to have everything ready - because you think that means everyone but you.

And here's another little tidbit for stupid people - pharmacies have telephone numbers that you can call to ask as many questions as you want about your insurance, your prescription, your doctor, how many things you have wrong with you, what's on sale this week, and whatever else it is that you people talk about when it's your turn at the counter. That way the rest of us can avoid a wait in a line that rivals the the margarita line at a Jimmy Buffett concert. All I wanted was sinus pills with pseudoephedrine - but of course, I can't buy them off the shelf any longer because other stupid people had to abuse the ingredients - so here I stand, in a line behind you, trying not listen (because there is a big sign telling me to stand back to allow you privacy - and I, unlike some people, actually read the signs & think they apply to me), but you're talking so loudly that Bill over in produce heard you. Now my popsicles have melted and I'm going to need a refill on my migraine meds.

Sometimes I dream of a world where SPF doesn't stand for 'sun protection factor', but for 'stupidity protection factor'. Imagine how much money you could make if you owned the patent on a product that kept stupid people away! Sort of like insect repellent but less smelly. I'd invest in a case of 50 SPF and never leave home without it. Stupid people would feel a vague sense of unease as they neared anyone wearing SPF, so without knowing why, they'd always stay back 50 feet. How awesome would that be?? (pausing a moment to close my eyes and to imagine Utopia...)

And you can't even tell them to get a clue. Because if they could get a clue, they wouldn't be stupid people. It's a conundrum. A vicious circle. A catch-22. An impasse. It's a pain in the ass.