Saturday, May 22, 2010

I know it's not Wednesday, but I have to say "WTF?" anyway.

Those of you who know me have probably heard me lament the lack of clothing available for women who are "busty but not plus-sized". Argh. It's the bane of my existence. Well, that and the fact that all of the petite styles seem to cater to those who qualify for senior-citizen discounts. I don't care if the pants are the right length, I'm not wearing an elastic waist and polyester.

I came across an online store that caters to "fitting the full bust". That line caught my attention right away. Plastered across the home page of the site was "fit your bustline, flatter your waistline" - yay! Just what I was looking for! So I started checking out their site...


There's this wrap shirt...I'm not loving it. Actually, I don't even remotely like it. And it's $80. I'd pay $80 for a shirt that fit well - if I really liked it. I don't like this.

Diana Wrap Shirt $80

I looked around some more and found this shirt. Better - I would wear this. $115? For a white blouse?? That's pushing it a little. White blouses always end up with stains. They seem to have a shelf life of about 1-2 years. If I'm going to pay $115 for it, I want it to last longer than that.

Irina Princess Seam Shirt $115

And then I found this video. If you have 5 minutes, watch it. It's called "What to Wear if You Have Large Breasts".  It should be called "What to Wear if You Have Large Breasts and Yearn to Dress Like a Prison Matron".

WTF is up with that wrap top and "THE DRESS"???? Give me a break. The yellow dress that shows about a half inch of cleavage is "inappropriate"?? The dress that they sell (and recommend for busty women) is one that I would never wear - ever. Well, maybe if I didn't have anything else to wear. No, not even then. I'd wear something of Gus's before I'd wear that. I wouldn't wear anything they showed in the video.

So now my options for "busty" clothing are high-price hooker, slutty streetwalker, or pious matron. Gee, thanks. How dare I have DD's and also desire to dress age-appropriately, yet fashionably.

Even if I didn't have to deal with the boobage, it's still almost impossible to find fashionable, casual clothing that is appropriate for women over 35 who don't work outside the home but also don't want to wear velour jogging suits or appliqued jumpers.

I don't want a long skirt - and I don't want to be worried about flashing my hoo-ha in a too-short skirt. I don't want a turtleneck - and I don't want a shirt that gives a clear shot all the way to my bellybutton when I bend over. I don't want a baggy dress that looks like a muu-muu - and I don't want a dress that's so tight you can see what I ate for lunch. Surely there is some designer out there who recognizes that there is an entire group of women who would be willing to pay good money for clothing somewhere in-between!!

I should start my own line of clothing.